15 reasons why (not) to date a vet – an eharmony rebuttal

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The dating website eHarmony has published a wonderfully upbeat, but sadly unrealistic list of reasons why dating a veterinarian is a good idea.

So in the interests of singletons everywhere, I’ve written a few corrections to save everyone the time and heartbreak when it all goes wrong (and because if you read no. 15, you will see we have no interest in consoling our colleagues)

1. They’re patient. Their furry patients can be stubborn and aggressive.Vets respond to chaos with patience, gentleness and a calming demeanor.
Just don’t expect your date to extend you the same patience when she’s just finished a 14hour shift being lacerated by angry cats and trying to convince her clients that 5+ years of training means she probably knows better than the 16 year old sales clerk in Pets at Home.

2. Veterinarians are passionate about their work. They don’t choose the career for its prestige or the money, they do it because they love it.
Translation: You’re paying for dinner (unless you fancy Royal Canin samples of course)

3. Veterinarians work hard. They endure countless years of tough schooling, long hours at clinics and unexpected middle-of-the-night calls.
Your date will be likely to cancel at the last minute, perfect if you’re looking for a partner that you don’t have to see that often (which is quite likely given no. 4+5).

4. Scrubs are cute.
Not when they’re covered in blood and pus and faeces.

5. Veterinarians have seen it all. Nothing grosses them out. Or, if it does, they persevere through it.
Your date will have absolutely no concept of ‘appropriate dinner conversation’.

6. Date a veterinarian and you’ll be dating someone who saves lives, eases pain, and helps lives end with dignity.
Dignity is overrated. Your date will also be someone who spends a large portion of her day with her hands in unimaginable places, crawling around on her hands and knees and picking fleas from her scrub top. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

7. Veterinarians have thick skins — literally. They endure scratches and bites in the quest to make the lives of our furry friends better.

Credit; i.chzbgr.com

Great if you’re into that ’emo’ look, not so great if you don’t want to be eyed with suspicion every time your date gets her forearms out in public.

 

 

8. Veterinarians have rigorous hygiene standards. (No, your date won’t smell like a barn when she arrives for dinner.)
If your date treated a sheep any time in the last week, she will smell of sheep (Has this person ever actually met a vet?! )

9. Veterinarians are smart, quick problem solvers, making life-and-death decisions on the spot and quickly assessing serious problems.
Your date is exhausted and wants nothing more than a large glass of wine and to spend the evening watching Made In Chelsea and browsing Buzzfeed.

10. Veterinarians are big-hearted, often shedding tears with pet owners when animals’ lives end, and rejoicing with them when little miracles happen.
Translation: Vets have the highest suicide rate of any profession (also great if your into the emo thing)

11. Veterinarians have the strength to do the right thing even when it’s difficult.
Lucky veterinarians have wonderful vet nurses who they get to do the right thing when it’s difficult.

12. A sense of humor. Vets are able to laugh at the messes and stresses that comes with working with animals all day.
Translation: Your date will be one of the most cynical, sarcastic people you will ever meet and will tell jokes that will make you vomit in your own mouth (unless anal glands and exploding abscesses get you going)

Credit: 24.media.tumblr.com/

13. Veterinarians make kids smile, helping their pets recover from injuries and illnesses, and showing them how best to care for their canine pals.

Credit: media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com

Veterinarians also kill children’s pets and make them cry. If your date liked children, she’d have become a paediatrician.

 

 

 

 

14. Veterinarians have impressive job descriptions. They’re anesthesiologists, radiography technicians, surgeons, teachers, babysitters, physical therapists, playmates, protectors, cleaners, pharmacists, and best friends to needy animals.

Your date will have no time for housework, cooking or a social life and will spend most evenings researching difficult cases.

15. Veterinarians know how to reassure others in stressful, difficult times. They know how to prepare people for bad news, and can console them when that bad news comes.

Veterinarians spend all day dealing with stressful situations and delivering bad news. If you want sympathy and understanding, date a therapist

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90 thoughts on “15 reasons why (not) to date a vet – an eharmony rebuttal

  1. le miller

    Several quick comments. . . I would have loved to date a Vet (before I married my husband of 25 years) as long as I was working in the same clinic.

    I am a therapist and can promise you their families can easily get short changed as many feel spent after a day working with clients/patients and have low energy once home. Therapist may not be as accepting of “the animals in the bed” concept. . . though definitely not me!

    Most Vets are great people who deserve lots of love in their life for all the good they do. Having a human loving relationship and maybe kids is complicated and yet can be wonderful. We all have to figure it out and try to get the best that life has to give.

  2. Jacqui Broadhurst

    I think vets are wonderful people they do a fantastic job, some times under extremely difficult circumstance’s.
    they are very caring, and devoted to their patients and the owners, where would animal lovers be without them
    THREE CHEERS for vets every where

      • Amy

        I’m a veterinarian, we don’t make much, especially considering the student debt we leave school with. My colleague’s cop husband makes more than she does as a veterinarian. And he should, he has a really dangerous, challenging job with many of the same difficulties outlined in this post, except with humans instead of pets.

  3. Enzo

    As someone who is dating a vet, whom I met via eHarmony….. You could have warned me!

    All very near to the truth but what the heck!!!

  4. This is terrific. I am a solo private practice Family Doc and Hospice Doc and have a few vet friends. Amazing how much of this applies to us solo FP Docs as well!! I think I will write a FP Doc parody version of this! We are the jack of all trades, know the whole family…including pets, least paid, hardest working specialty for human health care.

  5. Edwin Wagner

    I’m a veterinary orthopedic surgeon. I’ve been practicing since 1997. I became a veterinarian because I saw my Christmas puppy bleed to death in a gutter after being hit by a car. I’m on my third marriage. The first one ended ok. The second one ended with my uneducated cheating slut of an ex-wife getting 45% of the assets when she actually earned 28%. The divorce masters and judges in Pennsylvania are nothing more than pimps.

    • civilKG

      Ah, Dr.Wagner …uummm… You might not want to divulge quite so much personally identifying information on the internet, where it will remain for all eternity. Uumm like your real name, vet specialty, and state? I’m really sorry about what happened to your puppy, but you sound seriously deranged. As most therapists will say, there’s two sides to every story, even when cheating was involved. I hope you get personal counseling before your unresolved and misplaced anger against women wreaks havoc on your third marriage. Good luck.

  6. Being a vet is more than a calling , u hv to be passionate about ur job.Am a vet surgeon at lynden vet clinic kenya i enjoy my job and i always make sure i balance between my family, job

  7. Thank you for posting this. My boyfriend is a physician and keeps wrinkling his nose and saying”are other veterinarians like you.” And your comments finally convinced him. Yes, sorry yes, yes they are.

  8. Irina

    🙂 That’s a good one : “Translation: Your date will be one of the most cynical, sarcastic people you will ever meet and will tell jokes that will make you vomit in your own mouth (unless anal glands and exploding abscesses get you going)”

  9. Barbara Charous

    I’m a retired RN and many of those disgusting situations were very likely the same that I encountered while working in the ICU for 20 yrs and PACU for 10 years and being witness to ER situations for 18 years. Loved it all tho! Very proud of cops too. Go Vets!

  10. So, I first read this as “Veterans,” making the quote that got me here, “They have seen it all. Nothing grosses them out. Or, if it does, they persevere through it,” seem a little dark. I had a totally different understanding of what I was about to experience.

    Then I read it as “Vegetarians.”

    I’ve had a hard night.

    Pretty damn funny though.

  11. Laurie

    I married a vet… a “swine specialist”…. and he is wonderful! My daughter is also a vet… and she is wonderful! If you don’t find what is between the ears the sexiest part of a person and you don’t value a person who works for passion, not money, then PLEASE!!!! pass them by!!! Those of us who do value those traits don’t want you settling for a mediocre relationship with these people when they could be having a FABULOUS relationship with someone else (like me!). 🙂

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